Mac and Kim's House
My friend Mac, a musician, lived 12 miles east of Austin in a beautiful two story redwood house with a wraparound porch, on ten acres of rich blackland prairie soil. The house was brimming over with a deep history of music, storytelling, drinking and fun; every room was filled with photographs, art and love. The enormity of his laughter and colorful British language and heart was reflected in every inch of the house. I used to watch his home when he was on tour - he hated leaving. He longed to come back to his Texas land, building fences, mowing the property on his tractor and making trails in the woods.
I spent a lot of time in the house in different phases over the years of our friendship. In the beginning there was Mac and Kim his wife and dogs and a cat. Kim died and there was only Mac and the animals left. In 2014 Mac had a stroke in his home and two days later he passed on surrounded by close friends, musicians and hospital staff. Then it was us: the family, friends and myself stumbling through grief and the physical artifacts of his life.
The property did not sell immediately and the house was empty, but I still made the drive out of town whenever I could. Going to the house made me feel more connected to Mac. As soon as I walked in, I would open drawers, closets and cabinets searching, but not knowing what I was hoping to find. I would come across items that weren’t tossed out and they became treasures. The treasures while temporarily satisfying, were not going to sustain me. I realized I was looking for Mac. I became aware that while he is not physically here on earth, he’s here on a spiritual level. I feel his love, and know that he is everywhere and his life was bigger than his death and that gets me through.